![]() We established an outline, and we were just kind of riffing on it and cracking up. I don’t remember specifically pitching it, but Dana and I went back to our office we were sharing and threw ideas around. Kevin Nealon: It was like any other sketch. Also, they do a lot of voices! Read some excerpts from the interview below, or listen to the full episode of Good One wherever you get your podcasts. On Good One, Carvey, Nealon, and Smigel talk about how the characters were born, how the movie was written, and what it was like revisiting the project. Until now! Carvey, Nealon, Schwarzenegger (voiced by Smigel), and O’Brien have reunited to read scenes from the previously lost-to-time screenplay, and you can listen to “The Lost Hans & Franz Movie” episodes on Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend when the series drops on May 17. But once Schwarzenegger backed out, the project fell apart, and the movie became just something the four writers would bring up occasionally in interviews and on each other’s podcasts. The result was Hans & Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma, a road-trip comedy/show-business satire/musical starring the duo and Schwarzenegger himself. The frequency of their appearances and placement in the show - Hans and Franz often showed up during cold opens - is incredible by today’s standards, in which big characters might appear only a few times over the course of a cast member’s entire run on the show and, increasingly, on “Weekend Update.” So, after a few years on the show, Carvey and Nealon decided it was time to take Hans and Franz to Hollywood, and they wrote a movie with the help of Robert Smigel and Conan O’Brien. In the late ’80s, Hans and Franz, Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon’s muscle-bound cousins of Arnold Schwarzenegger, were an SNL sensation. But now, hear this: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday.Photo-Illustration: Vulture. You’ve given us something to hear now, and something to think about later.Īrnold Schwartzenegger: Ya. Listen to me now, and beleive me later: it doesn’t matter how much you pump up those muscles, as long as you reach the full pumptential. But don’t be downing yourself too much now. You know, you could very easily flick us with your ltitlest finger, and send us flying across the room until we landed in our own baby poop.Īrnold Schwartzenegger: I know. And not even the grown-up kind, the little baby losers. ![]() And believe me- What’s the matter?įranz: It’s no use, Arnold. You huys are lucky you don’t have a campfire here in the background. Oh, come on, you make me sick! And look at those legs, they look like little skinny sticks! And those buttocks. Like this That’s the way to do it! Look at you guys, how pitiful losers you are! You know something? I hate the way you guys talk! What’s the matter with you? I mean, I sent you over here from Austria, to become real hard-core terminators, and look what you are – little termites! I wanted you to become real running men but you are girly-men. ![]() Hans: Hey, Arnold, look at this! įranz: Ya! Lok at this! Īrnold Schwartzenegger: Oh, you guys make me sick. Hans: Oh, Arnold, I can’t believe how properly pumped up you really are!įranz: Ya! You are the embodiment of perfect pumpitude!Īrnold Schwartzenegger: No, no, no. Hans: I don’t believe this! Oh no, I can’t believe it!Īrnold Schwartzenegger: Hello, hello. Victor: He did! He said he might drop by. You’d better not be pulling my rock-hard leg. ![]() Hans: Oh, don’t-don’t-don’t be joking us.įranz: Ya. Your cousin Arnold Schwartzenegger came by today.
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